# of bitches who've scrolled

c. 1995

Josh, Joshua or J.D. There are 3 people on earth allowed to call me Joshie and statistically chances are you're not one of them.

Gay, atheist, not in favor of any particular political party.

Theme by nostrich.

2nd June 2012

Chat with 1 note

How Hardware "Updates" Really Happen

  • Scumbag 3rd Party Tech Wiz: Hey, I have an idea.
  • Bill Gates: What's that?
  • Steve Jobs: I'm listening.
  • Peter Chou: Please, continue.
  • Scumbag: You remember that awesome, ground-shattering first generation project you put out?
  • Bill Gates: Yes, my Xbox 360, which revolutionized the gaming world.
  • Steve Jobs: Yes, my iPhone, which made the smartphone accessible to the idiot.
  • Peter Chou: Yes, my G1 and MyTouch 3G, the very first Android handsets.
  • Scumbag: Wanna know a great way to make a whole lot of money really fast?
  • All: Yeah!
  • Scumbag: Well, all of your products are still fully contemporary and functional, as well as either contract-binding, or at a price point where buying a new/secondary is out of the question, right?
  • All: Yeah!
  • Scumbag: Well, how about you all release newer, better, faster versions of your devices, that now do everything the originals were supposed to do, but just don't?
  • All: Yeah!!!
  • Bill Gates: An Xbox with WiFi!
  • Steve Jobs: An iPhone with 3G!
  • Peter Chou: A phone with enough RAM to actually have two apps open!
  • Scumbag: But wait, it gets better - release all of these new devices at even more accessible price points, tempting your old customers to buy their way in.
  • All: You're a genius!
  • Steve Jobs: *accidentally sneezes on Scumbag*
  • Scumbag: Ok fuck you Steve, your updates are coming a year later than they should now.
  • The Tech Consumer World: Oh just fuck all of you...

Tagged: tl;dnrtoo long did not readbill gatessteve jobspeter choumicrosoftapplehtciphoneandroidxboxxbox 360360

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  1. adashofgay posted this